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\'Why does it hurt Ma,\' Awuor said to herself as she stared at the blank space. She could feel her heart conflicting, and suddenly the voices of everyone around her, was like just white noise. They were just blabbering and she was getting overwhelmed by them

Awuor looked at the crowd that was slowly blurring out, and everything about them pissed her off. She wanted to lash out at them and tell them that she had once been the perfect alpha for them, to tell them who she was, but she knew they wouldn\'t care.

She knew that they would best be thankful she was alive and pretend that things were okay.

The fact that Hawi hadn\'t seen her father at the wedding, went to show that the Sicario alpha had isolated himself, maybe from the pain of losing his mate, something that could drive the former alpha nuts.

Hawi knew that her father could die from his grief, and knowing that it was a given, broke her even more than the stupid wedding b between her mate and her protector. She wanted to ask where her father was, and seek him out, but Hawi knew it would give her up.

But that was too tempting.

\'No, not now,\' Hawi said to herself as she stumbled and tried to walk away from the crowd that was enjoying the wedding. She wanted to make sure they didn\'t see her, because if they did, then they would want to care for the officiator, and that would raise questions.

Something was happening to her body, something that she hoped wasn\'t true, because if it was, Awuor would burn down Sicario here and now. She wouldn\'t spare any of them, whether it was a wedding or not.

She struggled to walk in a straight line, but then that was difficult for her, because her final bonds with Sicario were breaking a little too fast. It was like someone was intentionally cutting them, someone was forcing it to happen.

The pain was familiar, one that Hawi didn\'t want to think about but then she couldn\'t smell Dom or Elodie in the audience anymore, and that could answer her question. She could also hear whispers from the Sicario wolves.

The whispers that are breaking her already broken heart.

\'No. Not today of all the days. Not this time. I can\'t deal with this again,\' Hawi said to herself, still struggling to walk. Thankfully, her place in the crowd was a little too far for the main setting, and people wouldn\'t notice her, but Rukiya did.

Rukiya\'s eyes had been in Hawi the whole time, even as Malika walked off the podium with Jer. She had been watching the banished alpha, watching her every move, like Rukiya wanted to be there for her, even if Hawi didn\'t want her to.

Her gentle eyes were focused on Hawi, as if to remind Hawi that even without Malika, she would still have someone looking out for her, someone stranger than all the wolves here except for her, someone who wouldn\'t mind leaving everything for her.

\'Fuck,\' Hawi said as she let herself give in to the darkness that had been pulling her. She had tried to remain sane, to hold on, but the pain in her heart and the reality that she was slowly being roped into weren\'t doing her any justice.

However before her body hit the ground, and even before anyone noticed that she was not feeling so well, Hawi felt a wind hush past her. It was too fast, but then she didn\'t even care anymore because she was unconscious and couldn\'t tell what was right and what was wrong.

****

"She\'ll kill you for this," a familiar voice said and Hawi tried to mute it out. This wasn\'t the time or palace for her to be focusing on whatever anyone said. Instead, her focus was on Malika and her wedding. Hawi had promised to stay till the guests started leaving.

But had she really managed that?

\'Malika… Wedding… Darkness… I—\' Hawi thought as she tried to process what had happened, and that got her opening her eyes real fast, only to find herself in a room that was familiar, but one she never imagined she would be in, at least not at this time.

She was supposed to be at the wedding, but this place looked like no wedding venue, not to mention she could feel the stench of something she had tried to avoid in the past few years, the stench of sorrow.

Perhaps she was wrong… Was she though?

"What am I doing here…. No, what are you doing here?" Hawi asked as she looked around her to find Rukiya, Adolf, and the Clarksons seated next to her bed.

If she hadn\'t remembered this as the room that the Clarksons had given her when she had come to their pack, she would have thought she was in a hospital, probably hooked to hundreds of tubes like she was on her last straw with life.

Well, that was better than the reality that she was hoping wouldn\'t hit her.

"Alpha Awuor, you fainted at the wedding, and Rukiya brought you home," Alpha Clarkson said and Hawi let out a growl at the mention of Rukiya. She hadn\'t wanted Rukiya anywhere near her, but fate was a stubborn son of a bitch, no?

"Oww… Just call me Hawi, or Awuor. I\'m not an alpha anymore. Anyway, about the wedding, why am I here? Is Malika okay? What happened to her?" Hawi asked as she tried to pull the covers off of her, but Rukiya kept the covers on her.

"If you insist on removing the covers, I will stay here longer than I planned," Rukiya said nonchalantly, knowing so well that it would stop Hawi from getting off the bed, and it worked, much to Rukiya\'s disappointment.

Then again, it wasn\'t like she didn\'t know Hawi didn\'t want her here.

"I hate you," Hawi said to Rukiya, the sincerity in her voice slicing through Rukiya\'s heart and for a moment, Rukiya felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. She knew this was going to happen and even then, she had swooped in.

Her heart just couldn\'t take the hint. Maybe it would, but would it really, when Hawi was a disheveled hot messy bundle staring at her with beautiful eyes she wanted to get lost in for eternity?

"What happened to you? You fainted at the wedding, it\'s a good thing I got you here on time. You were hyperventilating, and calling for—" Rukiya began, before stopping mid-sentence and Hawi looked at her like she was bonkers.

"Calling for who, Rukiya?"

"Your father, Hawi, Alpha Sicario," Rukiya said carefully, worried that Hawi would snap, only that this time, she wouldn\'t blame her.

"What about him? He abandoned me, remember?\' Hawi bit back like she wasn\'t already aware of the pain that was breaking her heart worse than life itself.

"Hawi... Alpha Sicario, was murdered," Luna Clarkson choked out sadly and Hawi looked at her like it was a lie. Surely it had to be, right?

"I\'m sorry, Jaberna," Rukiya added defeatedly, her head bowed in sadness.

***

* Jaberna = \'My beautiful.\'