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No one had ever gone to war for her.

No one had ever defended her, or even stood up for her.

Everyone was always trying to go to war with her, trying to stand up, to her. They were always trying to do things that would get her attention and not things that could show her that they loved her.

The people around her had always thought of her as competition and up until the last day she left home, hai knew that some things would never change.

Here and now, as she looked at the alpha and his Luna, the couple that was considered weak and yet at the same time hadn\'t once hesitated to pick up arms for the psycho they had just met barely six months ago.

This was new to Hawi and she felt like she was about to cry, but she couldn\'t. So she tried to think of what she could say to them.

Maybe she was supposed to thank them, but for what? For being so ready to lose their lives for her that wasn\'t something that Hawi knew how to work through and in the past years she had learned that emotions made people weak.

She didn\'t want to get emotional.

She wanted to appreciate what they had almost done but she couldn\'t find the word to say to them, so as she looked at the warriors who were smiling and happy that she was back home, Hawi knew she had to say something instead of standing there like a lost goat.

And so she spoke the first thing that made its way out of her mouth. Maybe it would ease the situation but there was no knowing at this point, right?

"Well… Shiiiit," Hawi said, internally cringing at how chirpy her voice sounded. Then again, it wasn\'t like she knew what else to say so she stood there with them, pretending to wipe whatever was left of the nonexistent apple she had been eating.

All of this was new to her, and maybe if Malika was here with her, Hawi could have known what to do, but maybe this time, she didn\'t always have to be the one to take the lead, right?

"We\'re glad you\'re back home. Are you okay? Is there anything that we should worry about?" Alpha Clarkson spoke when he noticed how awkward Hawi had gotten and the silence had somewhat gotten uncomfortable.

"No, nothing. I\'m fine. Thank you, for coming for me even though all I have done is make you worry about me," Hawi said sincerely and the alpha just smiled at her like a father would a daughter.

The only difference was that this time, Hawi was done getting attached to anyone. She didn\'t have the strength to deal with her emotions and even more to work around the dynamics of new relationships. She just wasn\'t ready and she considered it a waste of time.

"Wel—" Alpha Clarkson began and Hawi interrupted him, making him arch a brow at her. Of course he was aware that Hawi knew what she was doing, otherwise they wouldn\'t be here but even then, that didn\'t make it easier for the both of them to understand each other.

"I have something."

"What is it, Hawi?" Alpha Clarkson asked and Hawi just took a deep breath, like she was silently hoping that she didn\'t sound like a dick or even come off as an ungrateful guest to the pack.

"I was thinking I could join your warriors in training. I know I\'m a little rusty given I\'ve not stepped into the battlefield or even training feld for almost two years now, but I will do my best. You don\'t have to agree, it was just a request.

"I will understand if it\'s uncomfortable for your warriors because I\'m a rogue alpha," Hawi said, adding the last bit softly.

She had never spoken that word out loud from the time her father had banished her, but then here she was, for the first time in two years accepting her fate as the rogue alpha. An alpha who had been banished for being too strong and being too intelligent.

It was crazy, how up to this date, there were still some Sicario wolves who were convinced that Hawi had murdered her mother and forgot to erase the evidence.

Awour Hawi was a rebellious woman when she chose to and she was strong and had good leadership skills. She also knew how to hide a body and erase the evidence faster than anyone else.

If she had wanted to murder her mother, she would have done it and successfully pinned the blame on someone else, but hey, here she was, several miles away from the pack that had been home for her from the moment she had been born of the strongest alphas too.

"It\'s just that you guys took me in, and I want to be useful to you too. I don\'t mind functioning as an omega, if that makes it easier for me to train with your warriors," Hawi added so quickly, like she was already sure that she had said something that she shouldn\'t have.

Then again, it was going to be a long hectic ride for her, if alpha Clarkson accepted her bid to be an omega. The girl didn\'t know the first thing about being an omega, and it would definitely take a toll on her, given most people despised Omegas.

Then again, for her vengeance, Awuor Hawi wasn\'t scared to join the devil\'s table and feast with him.

"Oh Hawi," Luna Amara said and alpha Clarkson stared at Hawi long and hard. It was almost like he was challenging her, and Hawi, had naturally refused to back down.

She had never submitted to anyone other than her mate, who turned out to be a wuss, hell she hadn\'t even submitted to her father, so right here and now, her world wasn\'t going to submit easily.

But if that was what the alpha wanted, Hawi would do it, though the man would have to spell it out for her, otherwise, they would be at odds sooner than Hawi had ever imagined.

"You can also say no… I don\'t want to trouble you, not after you gave me shelter," Hawi insisted, and this time, alpha Clarkson let out a smirk almost like he had made his decision.

Well, if he had then he could as well tell Hawi, because beyond the cold face and the strong woman she was showing to them, was a girl who was scared of rejection again. She was scared that she would really be unwanted and she would never be able to fit in.

Awuor Hawi was scared of being cast aside if she proved to be useless to them. Oh, but Hawi was questioning herself at the moment, even though she was keeping her eye contact with the alpha Clarkson.

Maybe this was going to be her last day here, right?

"You can join the warrior team and train with them. Mbali is the chief warrior of the pack, I have a feeling you will get along very well."