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Volume 11.5, Chapter 1: Graduation Ceremony Part 7

I was walking with Hirata, and after walking past the convenience store, Hirata glanced at me.

Then, as if nothing happened, he faced forwards again.

Hirata had repeated this action several times in the past few minutes.

It was as if Hirata was waiting for an opportunity to start a conversation.

Soon after, Hirata made up his mind and started to speak.

“Actually-Ayanokouji-kun, I want to talk to you.”

Hirata hesitantly said.

For a moment, I thought he was going to speak about the end of year exam, but he did not give me that sort of feeling.

“Is there anything you wanted to discuss?”

“Yeah… Well, I really want to talk about this with you.”

After thinking a little, Hirata admitted that.

“Well, I’m not sure if I’ll be of any help, but I’ll do my best.”

Having Hirata depend on me for a change didn’t feel too bad.

It’s just that I couldn’t predict what the topic of the discussion would be.

Although he was depressed when Yamauchi dropped out, that matter had already been resolved.

Even if there were certain feelings he wasn’t able to let go of, it wasn’t worth consulting me.

That matter should have been resolved to the extent that the rest of the problems would fix itself.

“You might find this unexpected of me…”

Starting with this sentence, Hirata continued.

“I, just, it feels like I can’t be bothered with relationships and love anymore…I’m not sure about myself.”

That was an unexpected start.

I didn’t think that Hirata would come to me to talk about love.

“You’re not sure?”

Let’s clear some stuff up first.

I pressed him to continue.

“I think I might have never liked a girl in my life…”

Hirata confessed, embarrassed.

“So you’re saying that you’ve never dated a girl before?”

“Other than the agreement with Karuizawa, never.”

Maybe this isn’t so unexpected, but it’s still surprising.

Hirata treated boys and girls equally, so I would have thought he experienced love at least once or twice in his life.

Although you couldn’t really count the relationship between Hirata and Kei.

Pretending to be lovers, all to protect Kei from being bullied.

But if he said he never liked a girl before…

“So you’re saying that you’ve never liked a girl before? Even now?”

“Yeah…”

Although one of his merits was the ability to treat everyone fairly, including the girls, this was still a bit unbelievable.

“Then what about the situation with Mii-chan?”

Mii-chan really hoped for progress with her relationship with Hirata, showing that she clearly had feelings for him.

“I can’t see myself in a relationship with her, but I can’t tell her that.”

Mii-chan said that she wanted to start with being friends.

After that, of course, she looked forward to the chance for them to develop into lovers.

But since Hirata didn’t have that desire, it would be difficult for her to make any progress.

And there’s no reason to avoid her, so dragging on like this wouldn’t do her any good.

So that’s the situation.

This was the source of Hirata’s uncertainty that he wanted to discuss with me.

“I think it’s best to just say this directly to her. But I can see how that would be difficult.”

To make her realise without hurting her was a difficult thing to accomplish.

“So we have contrasting views again. I kind of expected this.”

“Yeah.

It was because of Hirata’s kindness that he was always involved with situations like this.

“But, that’s just the situation now, and who knows what will change in the future?”

The feeling of love wasn’t something you can control.

It could quietly sprout at any time.

…At least that’s what I think.

“Sure, I don’t know if that’s a possibility. But…”

However, Hirata didn’t want his relationship with Mii-chan to progress any further.

In terms of Mii-chan’s appearance as well as personality, there was nothing that Hirata could be dissatisfied about.

But of course, love wasn’t just determined by those factors.

“I can assert to you that…I won’t have those kinds of feelings, even in the future.”

Although he wasn’t entirely sure, Hirata still insisted on his answer.

If that’s the case, then I have only one thing left to say.

“It’s better to tell her, because Mii-chan still has hope that her relationship with you can progress.”

I looked into Hirata’s eyes while I said this.

If the answer to that question was kept to himself, Mii-chan would keep waiting and waiting.

So, it would be better to clear things up as early as possible.

If Mii-chan continued to like Hirata even after that, then that would be her own choice.

But Hirata avoided my gaze.

“Even…if, it would hurt her?”

“Having the answer but instead choosing to delay it would only cause more damage, right?”

I once again looked into Hirata’s eyes and said.

After our eyes met, he quickly diverted his gaze elsewhere.

“Yes, yes, right, that’s right…”

He nodded two or three times as if he was admonishing himself.

And then he came to a conclusion.

“Thanks for talking about this with me, Ayanokouji-kun. I have the courage now to admit that in this situation, keeping this to myself to avoid hurting her is the same as running away. “

He seemed to have successfully found the answer.

“So are you able to explain your feelings to her clearly?”

“Although I don’t know if this is the best way to go about doing this, I do understand that the other way would really hurt her. “

Hirata considered both approaches.

He was silent, with his thoughts being conveyed on his face.

Hirata understood that the second option would be better for Mii-chan, and so he was no longer conflicted.

If he were the old Hirata, he would be constantly worried about the situation, and would waste a lot of time in finding the answer.

He would be obsessed with the notion of “not hurting others”, and would be lost inside the maze of his feelings and emotions.

After his worries had been resolved, Hirata still seemed like he had something to say.

“What is it?”

I asked.

“Oh, err… from now on…Can I call you Kiyotaka-kun?”

“Eh?”

I was wondering what he would say, but this turned out to be very unexpected

“Well, if it’s okay with you, you can call me by my first name as well… is that fine?

Is this a step forward for our friendship?

My friendship with Hirata had progressed even further now, just like with Keisei, Akito, Haruki, and Airi.

“Why not, if you think it’s okay.”

Seeing how I agreed so willingly, Hirata smiled from the bottom of his heart.

“Really? Can I really?”

“You mean calling me by my first name? Don’t you have experience with that sort of thing, Hira-Yosuke?

Although from my memory, Hirata generally used surnames to address both males and females, calling people by their first name wasn’t an unusual thing to do.

“Well, before that happened, it wasn’t rare for me to call people with their first name.”

He was talking about that incident, during Hirata’s middle school days when his friend was bullied, which led to his attempted suicide.

“Since then… I’ve always been afraid to get closer to people. I’ll treat everyone equally, but I wouldn’t get too close.”

It had been 2 years since then, and it seemed like Hirata had only used surnames to address others.

Speaking of this, Hirata treated everyone in the class the same way.

This held true even when the whole class unanimously chose to drive out Yamauchi from the class.

But it seems that yet again, he was able to break out of that shell.

Hirata’s development was also quite significant, even compared to the other students who have also grown throughout the year.

“That’s why I thank you… Kiyotaka-kun.”

His gaze that was avoiding me from the start came back. That look conveyed all he was feeling at that moment.

“I’m flattered, really.”

Although I got some sort of sappy feeling from all this, I still accepted it open-heartedly.