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“I thought you quit?” he asked as he leaned back comfortably.

Zi Xingxi blew out three smoke rings as her lips quirked up into a smile. Her eyes closed she cleared her throat and said, “I rarely smoke these days unless under special circumstances... Today’s situation is one such example,” in a raspy voice.

Zi Han felt a slight sense of guilt so he said, “I was wrong..... I should have stayed home. I am sorry.”

Zi Xingxi didn’t say anything. She removed a speck of white fluff from the cigarette butt on her lower lip as she sat up to grab her glass of wine. “You don’t have to apologize..... I let my emotions spiral out of control just now... you know aside from your grandfather, I only have you,” she said before touching the rim of the wine glass on her lips.

She took a sip and as the dry bitterness warmed her throat she felt slightly better. “I know you told me not to associate with him but I think we can be good friends,” said Zi Han while glancing at her lightly.

The wine glass in Zi Xingxi’s hand paused for a second as she stared into blank space. She slowly took another sip and as she placed the wine glass down she said, “I can’t control who you can be friends with, and if that’s the person you want to associate with who am I to oppose?”

Zi Han felt his chest tighten hearing this. He swallowed down the inexplicable emotions threatening to come out and grabbed the glass of wine before taking a small sip. This wasn’t the first time he had drunk with his mother it’s just the first time he had drunk without her restraining him.

Zi Han felt his cheeks heat up after a few mouthfuls so he silently held the wine glass without drinking it any further. His fingers rubbed the stem of the glass.

.....

Zi Xingxi leaned her head back and blew out a stream of smoke forming a misty cloud in the nightly sky.

She recalled how her father tried to stop her from getting close to Zi Han’s father and how she still ended up with him anyway. Sometimes she feels like one of the reasons she eventually agreed to date him was because her father had spoken up against their relationship.

Considering past experiences she decided to interfere less. She was sure that Yi Chen would never succeed to rope in her son into that kind of relationship but if she keeps being the barricade it might act like a catalyst.

“I won’t interfere but... that doesn’t mean I will be nice to him when I see him. I am at least allowed not to like him, right?” she said and Zi Han glanced in her direction with an arched brow. He didn’t understand why there was bad blood between the Yi and Zi family neither did he want to know. Like Yi Chen said before, “The past generation’s grievances had absolutely nothing to do with them.”

“Thank you,” he whispered as a cool breeze swept past his cheeks cooling his warm skin.

Zi Xingxi glanced at him with a bright smile and her pupils scanned his outfit and ruined makeup. Noticing her strange gaze he asked, “What?”

Zi Xingxi chuckled lightly before saying, “I always wanted a daughter. If you like I can make an appointment and make my dream a reality.”

Zi Han, “...”

“No thanks, I am happy being a boy,” he said before taking another sip.

Zi Xingxi sat up and looked at him carefully before seriously saying, “The way you are so comfortable in that skirt says otherwise.... I promise I will support you throughout the entire process even if they chisel your schlong.”

“Mum! Seriously no..... I like my schlong,” he said while crossing his legs as though afraid he would be dragged to the hospital this very minute to have it snipped off.

Zi Xingxi broke out in laughter as she lay back down. The panic in Zi Han’s eyes was quite amusing. She was just teasing him but he looked like a porcupine with its quills standing up.

“I am just messing with you Ahahaha,” she said holding her tummy unable to control herself.

Zi Han pouted before saying, “You can’t joke about a man’s schlong.”

“Okay, okay... I was wrong,” she said wiping the tears at the corner of her eyes with a radiant expression.

Zi Han turned to look at his mother who was still chuckling and his gaze fell on the cigarette in between her fingers. Maybe it was because of the alcohol or something that he was suddenly curious. He asked, “Can I try it?”

Zi Xingxi didn’t know what he was talking about so she asked, “What?”

“That,” he said pointing at the cigarette that was slowly approaching the cigarette filter.

“You want your grandfather to accuse me of teaching you bad things?” she asked while handing it to him.

He smiled while saying, “He will never find out. I just want to try it,” before mimicking his mother and taking a drag. But he soon regretted it as he leaned forward coughing. It left a burning sensation in his throat and lungs like they had been set alight. He hated the feeling so much that he handed it back while coughing.

Zi Xingxi took it and put it out in the ashtray. “You will be fine,” she said before a soft ringing from the intercom interrupted her.

“Dinner is here. Just stay put and I will go get it,” she said as she got up.

Zi Han took deep breaths like he had been drowning and now had fresh air. After such a harrowing experience he vowed never to do that again.

As soon as he recovered he raised his light brain to check for messages but there was nothing. It seemed Yi Chen hadn’t yet replied to his messages. With a flash of disappointment in his eyes, he drank the last of the glass in one gulp. How was he supposed to coax people back when his mother directly smashed the cracked pot.

“Baby, come eat before that wine gets into your head,” yelled Zi Xingxi from inside the room.

“Coming,” said Zi Han as he got up as an anxious feeling rose to his chest. Was Yi Chen really going to abandon him?